SMGS: "Hey Hzrn! It's me! The Sitcom spirit from when you thought your life was a sitcom!"
HZRN: "Oh hey Sitcom Spirit! What are you doing here?"
SMGS: "Well, recently you've done something that's given me a renewed energy: you started watching Community!"
HZRN cocks her head.
SMGS: "Not only is it the first sitcom you've watched since Seinfeld, but also one of it's main features is its frequent referral to and riffing on sitcom tropes. It even has a character you relate to – and he's autistic!"
HZRN: "Alright, it's cool that you're back! Can you tell me what's wrong with my life?"
SMGS: "Why of course I can, that's what I do! In essence, the problem with the sitcom of your life, where you are the main character, is that there's no primary cast or setting!"
HZRN: "What do you mean? I know plenty of people, I'm not not interacting with them? And I don't really go anywhere."
SMGS: "Well, your harsh split between your presence in real life and your presence online has kinda made it so you don't have a primary, main presence to take the role."
HZRN: "..."
SMGS: "It's like if George Costanza was also a character on It's Always Sunny. And he acted pretty different than how he did in Seinfeld. Also if he was trans there."
HZRN: "Yeah, yeah, I get it. So what, you want me to 'reconcile the split plotlines' or something?"
SMGS: "While that would make a very meta plot the answer is no. You see, where you stand now, practically your entire character is based around this split! If you were to resolve it by any means..."
HZRN: "My character would become fundamentally different..."
SMGS: "That's right. You'd get new arcs. New characterization. New relationships. Even a new name and appearance."
HZRN: "Hm. Well that sucks."
SMGS: "The good news is that you can probably get away with just saying your show is 'subversive' for now."
HZRN: "It sure as hell is... Well. Goodbye."
SMGS: "I won't be gone, Hzrn! I'll still be part of your mind as a, deliberate or not, primary way of looking at the world! See you next time you need to process something without processing it!"
